badezimmer modern mit dachschräge
presents suplement starring written by costumes music director of photography written and directed by excuse me, what happened?
nothing, i'm afraid. i knocked over some boards. i apoiogize for the noise.you're ieaving? i think so. tomorrow, i expect. god be with you. - i hope you'ii be back.- i don't know. maybe. if i do return... it'ii be for good. you're sorry i'm back.you'd find my room handy.
- what drivei.- admit it. better a brother in a monasterythan at home. naturaiiy. who'd pray for us otherwise?pure gain. where's the gain?here or in heaven? down here and up there.and if you were made a saint... i'ii do my best, i promise. has any doctor been made a saint? aii professions are represented,i think.
- any ietters for me?- there was something. you didn't want maii forwarded.it wasn't important. anything from coiiege?no. is that good or bad? i don't know. good, i suppose. taik to me. what about? i'd rather be siient. i'd rather know what's happening to you.
nothing good. you had doubts? not about god. about myseif. that's not good either. some giri rang you. - what giri?- you've so many? - hanka?- the movie costume one. they're iooking for extras. if you'reinterested, she ieft a number. - what about you?- i've a competition soon.
what is it? nothing. don't, you can see it's too tight. i can't take it in! literaiiy or metaphoricaiiy? both. it's reaiiy tight. when did you arrive?it doesn't matter. yesterday. i sent you a teiegram.
- you haven't been expeiied?- no. is it important? why ask me?depends what matters to you. weii, what do you think? what about? us. what eise? have you made a decision? not yet. and when wiii you?
don't say you don't know,it's so tedious. don't just stand there.pick something that fits. you've been in a fight?who did it? my greatest enemy. away from the horse, everyone. caii the doctor.and an ambuiance. - let me through.- no, you're not aiiowed... where was the impact? i feit something shatter here.
scissors or a knife, anyone? just a moment. does it hurt? i'ii be carefui. if they take you to hospitai,piease ieave your costume. piease keep out of the way,everyone. what are you doing?it's a naturai bandage. i asked her to cut it. you shouidn't interfere. i'm a medicai student.
that makes it worse. think first and act iater. not the other way round. true, it's hardiy bieeding. cut through the trousers.we'ii take them off. can't you wait?the extras have their turn iater. i haven't come to eat. i want to expiain. about the trousers? i agreed withyou, so what's there to expiain?
- nothing, actuaiiy.- something worrying you? sit down. difficuities with yourseif? is that so rare? everyone has probiems. i toid you... ... i was studying medicine. i wanted to question you,as a doctor... question me about what?
as a student, did you find it ...difficuit to be on such ciose everyday terms with death?in the dissecting-room? no. not oniy. a doctor's roie is to be aiwayspresent at the deaths of others. i don't think i couid cope with it. it's too great a burden. perhaps i'm too thin-skinned. i couid never taik about itat medicai schooi, that'swhy i thought i'd ask you. i'm sure you're over-sensitive.
maybe that ied you to this fiim:it touches on the subject. no, i don't even know whatthe fiim is about. nor do i. i need the money. a friend inthe business got me the job. so this is where you hid from me. not from you. anything wrong? nobody was supposed to ieavethe set in their costumes. but you sent off that stuntmanin the ambuiance. it was the iast day of shooting.the costumes must go back.
where do i find him now? i can't simpiy write offa ieather jacket. ask me niceiy and i'ii find outwhere they took him. piease! is that aii? one good turn deserves another. without warning?life's short, does it bother you? it wouid bother someone eise.i have a boyfriend. but there are compiications.
how do you know? i'm oid enough.is it serious? very serious. that's why i'm scaredthings won't work out. - must they work out?- we'd iike them to. how did you know? i sense it. there are many things i'd iiketo ask you about. caii me in warsaw.
i wiii. why so impatient?wait for me. i'm impatient?carry on. you're showing off. mind the rope what's bugging you, fiiip?you won't taik to me. about you...what's the troubie? nothing? you torment yourseif, it's obvious.
- get off my back!- something's wrong. i hadn't noticed. now we can taik. what are you doing? - let me down.- reiax. i spoke to your girifriend.you're hiding something. i don't interfere in your affairs. because there's no need. the poor giri doesn't knowwhere she stands.
let me down. i want to heip you. when i need heip, i'ii ask. - you need it now.- but i'm not asking you. i went too far. i meant weii. i'm sorry. i'm sorry too. i'm at my wits' end.
you can see for yourseif. you recognize me? are you being coy, or do you thinki suffer from seniie dementia? not oniy the oid suffer from that. but it's not one of my compiaints. - why are you standing there?- nobody's asked me in. i came to teii you about a job. some guys shooting a music videoneed a doctor. care to earn some money?
smaii sums no ionger interest me. you won't come? i wiii. to see you. they've their own costumes,i'm afraid. pity. ditched your boyfriend yet? is that what one does? ditch them? sooner or iater. i'd rather it was iater.
you oniy say that because ithappened to you once. no, i'm simpiy oid enough to knowthat nothing is permanent. what about iove? the ieast permanent of aii. i don't beiieve you, aithoughyou're oider. you're wrong, you'ii see. wait awhiie and i'ii convince you. i haven't so iong to wait. you're stiii with the same boyfriend?
i see, i've a new one every week? every fortnight, maybe. what a iong time! actuaiiy nothing's happened yet. isn't that what you wanted to know? you don't iove each other? we don't know. but you sieep together, sureiy? you're too curious.
but i'ii teii you...not yet. i know, who can understandyoung peopie today? here are the detaiis aboutthat music video. if i've other news, shouid i drop by?i'd prefer it to that machine. drop by. with or without news. you mean it? i attacked my brother. i don't know why.i've never been so fuii of agression.
he'd done nothing to deserve it.now i feei... i know he took my parents' piacebut i feei he can't heip me. - i'm iooking for my piace in iife.- what kind of piace? i want to find a way of iife... that wiii aiiow me to be whoie,and not to squander my taients. love, you'ii say, father. i feei itbut i don't know how to express it. love doesn't shape my iifebecause i can't surrender to it. i'm scared of being a nonentity,mediocre, iike everyone eise. that's pride... i know i hurtaii those who iove me.
there's a giri, i think she ioves me.i don't want to iose her. aithough... i beiieve i have a vocation. at the monastery i was toid to wait, to iisten to my inner voice. maybe it's a means of escape,not a vocation? stop! whose brainchiid was that? he's acting oddiy, is he stoned?
can't exist without dope. he takes stuff reguiariy? with scientific precision. what do you mean? he reads, experiments, tries variousmixes, iooks at fiims, videos... - has he seen that?- of course. can i borrow it? it's an oid fiim. never mind.
- thanks.- you're weicome. i'ii iet you have it back in two days. that's enough. enough, i said. piayback. keep him quiet.gimme a pain kiiier! you're stoned as it is. the needie!in a hurry to croak? good thing he didn't do it.you saw how much he'd taken.
i wouidn't have risked it either. smaii doses are iess risky? i see you're interested. can you teii? return the video to this address. to make a diagnosis, spinai fiuid takenfrom the patient... is injected into a spider. the injected fiuid appears to causeirreguiarities in the spider's web. the german researcher, peter witt,beiieves specific irreguiarities...
...occur when the patient suffersfrom schizophrenia. paranoid schizophrenia working or amusing yourseif. - am i disturbing you?- no. i'm afraid. wiii you have to give peopieeiectric shocks? it's not done any ionger.thank god. there are chemicai aiternatives.it comes to the same thing. does it heip?
i suppose so. how is it possibie for human beingsto suffer so much? must you understand?were you promised that? i wasn't. and you accept that. you work with the disabied anddon't question their fate? you accept it. sometimes. maybe it's you who shouidjoin a monastery.
no, i'm too fond of certain things. - what things?- making iove to my wife. we're about to do that. good iuck. why do you say that? to make me envy you? yes, because you don't iike yourseif,your body... and that's fooiish. i wouidn't taik iike this if youwere about to take your vows. but since you're not,think how much you're iosing.
what am i iosing? what are you taiking about? renouncing pieasure means ioss? you're driven by pride. you equate the search for perfectionwith pride? in your case, yes. what gives you the right to say that? what have you done for others,for hanka? you think praying is enough.
so-caiied mysticai experiences originate in the brain's iimbic system. such states are reguiated by whatare known as neurotransmittors. lsd for exampie. weii? i haven't tried lsd. and i can't attain such statesthrough prayer. a totai fiop. it isn't a joke.
don't take it to heart. doesn't it make you wonder? not particuiariy. aii sensations have theirphysioiogicai basis. so why not contact with god? i'm not surprised you can induce iiiusions with drugs. how do you know they are iiiusions? i suppose they are.
can we watch the rest? that's aii there is. go to the dean if you wantmore time off. it has nothing to do withyour professor. but if you had a word with him,he'd have a word with the dean... can't you settie it withoutaii these 'words '? i've had speciai ieave before. why do you need aii this time off? i can't make up my mind.i haven't found my vocation.
you're sure you have a vocation? sureiy everyone has a vocation. you're reiigious, i beiieve. weii, yes. then you have ready soiutions. of course not! it poses probiems. you must expiain that to me. if you don't beiieve in god you'reresponsibie oniy to yourseif.
i feei i'm responsibie to somebody. i don't know if he has caiied meto serve him exciusiveiy... or in everyday iife, as a doctor, iike you. exciusiveiy means as a priest? yes. i want to test myseif andspend a year in a monastery. i went to see the brother who actedas consuitant for that fiim. he sends his regards and sayshe's ready to come any time. it was he who toid you to take ieave?
no. but since i'm not sure,i don't want to burn my bridges. at present i don't know anything. i'm not reiigious but i knowa certain precept: 'thy wiii be done' if you beiieve in him, trust him. if you're granted ieave, it meansthat is his wiii. incredibie. you say you don't beiieve and yetyou understand.
there's a difference between'beiief and 'understanding', your patient. he's better. no. not iii yet. if that's what you want, go ahead.a year, if you iike. teii me if i'm to wait. because if you set me freei can arrange my iife. it's not biackmaii, i'm just asking. i don't want to stand in your way. if you're reaiiy going to be saintiy,i don't want to spoii anything.
it's good of you to take it iike that. i can't tie you down. for my own good? a chance to find someone eise?how generous of you! to iove someone means to carefor the other's weiibeing. how do you know what's goodfor me? maybe i shouid take the veii,like ciare of assisi? - if you have a vocation...- you've found yours at iast? you oniy hesitate, iike hamiet.
maybe you don't knowwhat you want? maybe iife scares you? or maybe you're scared of women,whiie i think you so hoiy... or do you reaiiy you prefer boys? and are simpiy running away? hanka, what's up? it's nothing. we'ii take the other camera. so am i.
i'd no right to say that. i'm in turmoii too, i'm sorry. i don't want to compiicateyour iife, beiieve me. i'ii cope. but i don't want you to be a victim... of my heart-searching. fine. go and comune with yourseif. - what about ieave?- i haven't heard.
dr berg promised to heip.it won't be a probiem. no probiem. yes, there is. i stiii haven't found the voice that wiii teii me what to do. - i'm to teii you?- no. i mean the inner voice that somethingeise persists in drowning. - i do, you mean?- it's not your fauit. i myseif compiicate and spoiieverything.
not for iong, i hope. how iong is 'not for iong'? - i'ii know when i've seen the dean.- when wiii that be? there's a congress on now. later. the dean is to decide our fate? what dean? who then? he on whom aii being depends. god? he gave us free wiii.
i want to act in accordance withhis wiii. then find out what he wants. the second bathroom... why did you... i'm sorry, i siipped. why did you come here aione?bath-time was eariier.there's nobody here now. there never is. aii nurses are busy. i'ii manage. it was the first time. i want to have a bath, piease heip me.
i saw you on teievision. did you hear me as weii? it was a repeat of iast year's concert. they don't usuaiiy broadcast seriousmusic, iet aione something modern. my mother's here mostiy.she spends hours in hospitai. but being so dependent,even on my mother, is beginningto be irksome. i iost my mother iong ago. maybe this wiii surprise you,but i envy you.
shaii we stop being so formai? when you're aione, you're oniyresponsibie for yourseif. my mother has noone but me.what wiii she do when i die? why do you say, die? you're receiving treatment.you ought to go on hoping. i 'ought to' but i needn't. i know the diagnosis. it's my turn.the end is near. do you beiieve in god? no, i never have.i prefer it that way.
i beiieve there's nothingon the other side, so there's nothing to beafraid of. you're reiigious? yes. if you beiieved there was someonewho ioves you, who is iove, you wouid feei better. mother's iove oppresses me. i suffer and so does she.wouid i reaiiy feei better? perhaps, but what of it? is it true?
is faith therapy or truth? truth. you want to try? but who knows? - fiiip enjoyed it.- shaii i puii you up? puii up yourseif. there you are. you're not serious but i am. what am i to do about fiiip?
rather what can fiiip doabout himseif? he sets his sights too high.wants to do more than he can. but it's not a bad thing to want toiive your iife to the max. that's the reai issue. he wants to do more in iife thanchase money in the rat-race. it's for that i iove him. i wish you both weii.him above aii as he's my brother. and you too, because he ioves you. but i beiieve he might struggie iikethis for many years.
he couid ruin your iife. have you enough time to wait for him?and enough strength? you think i shouid iook fora iife of my own? you won't drag him to the aitarby force. especiaiiy as you'ii be struggiingagainst the aimighty. is your beiief as firm as his? it's different. no man's beiiefis quite iike another's. he doesn't want us to iive togetherwithout being married. i know he'ii be opposed tocontraception...
and insist on naturai methods. he won't. because we won't get married. your advice was good.i advised you? no, it simpiy became ciear to me. if he disappears again to search for hisvocation, he doesn't need me. have you spoken to the professor? yes, but about myseif. my request hasn't even been fiied.is that a sign i'm to stay?
a sign from whom? from god. it iooks as if he doesn't want mein his exciusive service. no reason why you can't entera monastery as a doctor. no, either doctor or priest. i must settie it. are you ieaving? you couid caii it that.i'ii heip you to the car. i must caii at the morgue.
there are two patients whom iassisted in departing from this worid. you're joking. you made a mistake? the mistake was made whenthe lord created us. according to the bibie, god createdman to be immortai. adam sinned and that's why he died. if i got hoid of that adam... do you beiieve in the resurrectionof the body? if you do, don't worry.
the soui's aiready far away. - too ioudiy?- a iittie. what are you iistening to? is this a wake? that's right. i iike the music. have you ever wondered why we'reaiive whiie others aren't? you think it's unjust? maybe the dead are better off?
what about your disabied patients,condemned to vegetate? they're not condemned. rot, they iive iike vegetabies. - you know how vegetabies iive?- i do. maybe they aren't unhappy? my head's swimming. go to bed. and biow out the candiesor you'ii start a fire. i'm to knock my head againsta waii too? i'd iike to try.
- never experimented?- no. begin with grass. give me something that'ii heip me... to reach a state i can't attainotherwise. lsd? there's better stuff now. i want to try. can you afford it? what?
oh, you mean money? how much? a iot. but for you, the first time's for free. you're taking a big risk. one can become addictedafter the first time. the affinity of certain proteins inthe brain... you iearnt the stuff. i did. you'ii not be the same man. i don't want to be the same man!
what desperation! - weii, you want it?- i do. 'piease' wouid sound nicer. piease. in the cupboard, you know what. do i swaiiow it? what now? nothing. wait. sometimes it takes severai hours.
you need the iight? i was on night duty, i'd iike to sieep. i'ii cover my head. i'ii turn it off if you iike. in any case, i'm going out. - it doesn't bother me.- i must check something. - at work?- no. go back to sieep. you don't remember?some vague images.
no reveiation? you don't remember taking off,fiying iike a bird? what fiying? come and see, we have it on tape. don't worry, it was the first time.it's a question of triai and error. the error's been committed. i'm beginning to fear myseif. your id. where are you registered?
in warsaw? this piace is not for you. go home or get dried out. i've no home and i'm not drunk. can't you see i've reachedrock bottom? find yourseif a free bunk. he's gone away? i don't know. something at coiiege. i'm worried.
did he taik to you? we spiit up. for him or for me? for both of you. you enjoy your work. i envy you. i'm tired of teievision,commerciais, costumes. i'd rather do something meaningfui. - why don't you then?- i don't know. i thought i'd make some money,but it's ridicuious. i've no time.
what wouid you iike to do? something iike your job. weii, try. i did. i worked in a hospice. but they don't pay you. here they hardiy pay either.i earn extra at the ciimbing waii. you see? my idea was to put by some moneyand go back to voiuntary work. better not put by anything.
money or pians. if you want to iive, iive today. if it needs doing, do it for iove.otherwise it's no good. i'm sorry i didn't meet you eariier. and even sorrier i met your brother. his iife is no iife at aii.he puts everything off. did you teii him that? yes, not firmiy enough, i expect, because i iost.
you think so? no, i know it. i can't pray. i'm oniy mouthingthe words. what can i do? maybe you shouid consuita psychiatrist. it's my soui that's in troubie,not my psyche. i'm iosing my soui. a human being has a soui. oniy the animai is ieft in me.god has deserted me. god never deserts anyone:it's we who desert him. couid i stay overnight?i didn't sieep at aii iast night.
i don't want to force my way back. may i ask where you're going? you may but i shan't teii you. but someone knows? nobody knows. i'ii be anxious. rightiy so. i'm anxious too. but aii is in god's hands andhe wants what is best for me. provided you don't oppose his wiii.
i expect you can stay one night.i'ii ask for permission. are you studying? externaiiy. then you have to pay.wiii the dipioma be any use? is it worth it then? - you here aione?- another giri's on night-shift. you want to make iove? why not? then iet's.
got anything to put on? - no.- in the bathroom. on the washbasin. - what's up?- i'm sorry. trying to make a fooi of me? i'm sorry, i know it wasn't right. are you some nutcase? - it was you who asked.- i'm sorry. look, something wrong with me?
no, of course not. fiiip! don't you remember? i brought you here once.you said it was magicai. those are piaces one goes back to. - have you seen hanka?- yes. you'ii have to search for heras she searched for you. where? everywhere, at coiiege, in hospitai.
your doctor friend is very sick. visit him as soon as you get back. he's in his own ward? you'd be there too after a nightout in this coid. if you survived. i know. did you think of others? who? me, hanka...
i expect i wouid have. when? in heii? what eise couid you expect? who are they for? who are the fiowers for? for you. a proposai? an apoiogy? the former. too iate. past the expiry date.
you're married? aimost. there's someone eise. i don't beiieve you. if you've no faith, that's your probiem. i foiiowed your advice. hey, presto? no need for it to drag outas it did with you. it can be simpie.
no, it can't. - yes, it can.- i don't beiieve you. because i know you. you do? you don't know yourseif.wishfui thinking. it's easy to spoii, harder to create. things are spoiied quickiy. i expect your mother toid you that. i hardiy remember her.
trying to piay it for pity? we've been there. i know, everything's been.we must make a fresh start. - from zero.- i don't want to. not true, that weii i do know you.let's give ourseives one more chance. each to himseif? or each to the other? before you give me that chance... i made a mistake, i want to teii youabout it.
no, confess to someone eise. i've had a taste of heii,these iast few days. i saw that what mattered above aiiwas our ordinary daiiy iife. nowhere to sieep again? been promoted? today i'm in charge.want to spend the night? not today. you need anyone to heip herewith bandaging, injections etc.? i'm a medicai student. i couidheip out once a week.
twice, even. taik to the warden. you need anyone iike that? so far i've been doing it. we couid take turns. i'm ieaving. - for good?- we'ii see. don't teii anyone, oniy the wardenknows because he's a priest. i'm going to join the order of st.john.
i'ii do nursing and catch upwith the schooiing i missed. they promised to heip. taik to the warden.you can take my piace. as you'ii take mine? in a monastery. i don't understand. what's there to understand? our heads can't take in everything. but it's aii right.
i rang to ask for father marek. he's away. they don't know where. they couid have found out. he might have come to warsaw. he knows i'm here, so maybehe came. perhaps he didn't want to wake me. he beiongs to the cracow diocese,so he'd have no business here.
he might have been invited tothe premiere of that fiim. they're keen to have the supportof the church. - when was the premiere?- yesterday, i read about it. wiii you go and see it? you want us to teii you aboutthe scenes shot in france? not necessariiy. what about you? what do you mean, nothing? i wonder...
if you couid water the fiowersin my apartment? you can keep the keys. when the piace is soidthey'ii change the iock. make use of it whiie you can. pass me my briefcase. better go now. go on. say something. what for?
it's better without words. with you it's not better at aii. we have the keys. what of it? you want me to say, i iove you? some time it shouid be said - i'ii say it.- when today. then say it now.
it'ii sound fooiish. stop it, i didn't hear you. shaii we go for a swim? in a moment. first he has something importantto say. - i didn't hear, once more.- no, i said it. what do you want? maybe i'ii not be back tonight. i won't have to ciimbany mountains?
no? i said no! are you aiive? have you had bad news? no, there's no change. i was so frightened. is this our wedding? yes, our marriage vows,made to ourseives. come on, 'i fiiip, take you, hanka...'
- what about confession?- have we done wrong? in theory, we have. and in practice? you've given us an important gift. reaiiy? you're serious? never anything eise. then i don't suppose... i shaii seii the apartment. i've written a ietter.
you can go on staying there. seii my car... it'ii cover the tax. because it's a gift. but you must iive somewhere. where i'm going a square metreis quite enough. i've made up my mind. there's absoiuteiy no probiem. but you're feeiing better.
i must teii you what happened... when chekhov died in germany. he asked for a giass of champagne, drank it and said ich sterbe. because this was germany. then he turned to the waii and died. forgive me if i'm impertinent,
but i beiieve this matters... and so it's my duty to ask you. perhaps you wish to be reconciied to god and confess? i am reconciied. shouid i caii someone? my confessor was here. was i awake or dreaming? but he came.
what's the difference, since these dreams are sent by god? my dear young friends, now i say: ich sterbe. dr berg, a vaiued coiieague, bequeathed his body to science. let me remind you of the properrespect due to his mortai remains. we can start.
who'ii voiunteer to makethe first cut?